Darlings, my illusions have been shattered. I thought that when I began my illustrious author career, certain things would transpire. These would include: a) magically acquiring a NY penthouse apartment in which to throw my salons for my glittering creative friends, b) winding through the Amalfi Coast in my convertible and dark glasses en route to my yearly writer’s retreat and c) having each book get easier to write.
*whistling bomb blast*
I’m on my fifth YA romantic comedy novel now and am currently in that first draft stage known as “This is a POS I hate it I hate it I hate it kill me now I’ll never get it finished why don’t I just lay down in traffic because I’m useless.” That is, in fact the technical term for it.
Needless to say, there is much self-doubt and despair hooking their claws into me. I’ve tried a number of things to get past this. I recently threw my characters off a cliff, killing those mopey bastards dead, I’ve ignored my WIP in favour of numerous games of Sudoko to get the brain juices flowing. I’ve drunk wine. I’ve whined, drunk. Nothing. Thus I decided that drastic action had to be taken. After vetoing throwing my laptop out a window (see, I do have impulse control), I opted for a road trip to the US of A to go see The Book of Mormon. If Trey Parker and Matt Stone couldn’t make me laugh, break me out of my funk, and creatively inspire me to new peaks of comedic genius, then I don’t know what could.
Well, 2 of out 3 ain’t bad.
Ignore story for a few days? Check. Head south with the sun on my face and my passport in hand? Check. Laugh my ass off at the most hilariously inappropriate musical ever? Check! Then weep in despair because “I’ll never be that brilliant kill me now I’ll never get it finished why don’t I just lay down in traffic because I’m useless.” Check and check.
This too shall pass. I know that. I need to take the advice I so freely and easily dole out to my students which is – just finish the damn thing. Hate every second if I want to but get a complete first draft. Then I can find what works and what doesn’t and start to refine. No one mines gold rings. You start with gold and gems and refine and refine and polish blah blah blah. I hate taking my own advice. But I will.
Anyhoo, I made a little video of the road trip. Because yes, it was that or stare at my manuscript. And I’m not ready yet. I’m going to take this week off. Let the story percolate in my brain a bit. But I’m resolved to dive back in on Monday.
No, really …
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